I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
