Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
