Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
