Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
