If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
handjob tips. give me some.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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