You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
