jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
