For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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