We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
