I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize