so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Randomize
