awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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