Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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