take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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