Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
