I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
