my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
