The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
