hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
