i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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