R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
