YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
