I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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