he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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