You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
