Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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