you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
