I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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