I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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