he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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