she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
