I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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