I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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