yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
