Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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