I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
