you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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