I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
