Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize