yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
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