I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
