i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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