He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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