I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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