Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
