Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I have aggressive nipples.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Randomize
