Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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