it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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