You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
