a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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