Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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