I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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