my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
