she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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