I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
