I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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