I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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