Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
