Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
