i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize