hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
