Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
