I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
As shirtless as possible
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
