you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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