I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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